“Madi, it’s okay, really. I think tha-”
“But it’s not okay.” She cut me off, glaring at the wall
like a ravenous cat that had just missed its last kill. “They had no right to
treat you like that.”
I looked at her face and her eyes flickered to mine. Her jaw
was set in her slight, involuntary underbite. I could see little tears welling
up and catch in her lashes, obstinately refusing to take the final plunge onto
her cheek.
I sighed and glanced down at my hand. Madison had it
cradled in her lap, absentmindedly running her fingers up and down my forearm. Even
with her muscles tensed, she kept her fingers soft and light against my skin,
making my nerve endings sing with contentment.
“Well, what are we going to do about it?” she demanded.
“There’s nothing that we can do at this point. Please, don’t
worry about it. It’s all over and done with.”
Her expression almost exploded. She jumped out of her
seat and slammed her fist down on the table. It could have been almost comical
if she wasn’t so impassioned and angry. “There has to be something we can do! No one is allowed to be that derogatory
and rude to my friends. Ever.” She
jerked her head toward the door and seemed about ready to rush out to kick some
butt.
“Madi...” my quiet voice pleaded. She snapped back into
reality. I relaxed as she forced herself to sit back down next to me. Her
eyebrows furrowed, but she resumed stroking my arm, which seemed to help calm
her down.
“I- I just can’t stand to see you upset, that’s all.” Her
tone was thoughtful, loving, as if I was her entire world and the only person that
mattered. It felt really nice.
We just sat there for a while like that, in total silence.
Nothing needed to be said; her company was sufficient. I knew she had a million
other places to be and had so much on her mind —that thing never turned off—but
she chose to stay and comfort me anyways. I smiled and leaned against her
shoulder, and as always, she shifted herself to accommodate.
Madison, this was beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI understand how much you care for this person, I am the same way. I am usually a gentle person, but when I see someone I care about get hurt then I have to do something to protect that person, and I can help but want to get even with the people that hurt my loved one. So I understand this type of feeling. It's one of the most confusing times I think I've ever had to encounter. It's an internal battle because you want to take revenge, but you also don't want to leave that person alone. It's confusing and hard. But I feel that the decision you made within the story was right.
The writing of the story was very good and I enjoyed it a lot. I can see you're writing style more evidently now, and i can tell when it's your writing. I really enjoy it. It's very descriptive, but not in a... "direct characterization" (haha) way. You're not just stating it. You're using certain wordings that provoke ideas and images, and that is the type of writing I enjoy because it makes it more exciting and enthrawling. Good job :)
After spending a long day dealing with reports of bullying and kids being cruel to each other, I can't tell you how much I appreciate a description of (righteous) fury in the face of meanness. Keep protecting your own Madison. Although I do believe that kindness is the only force that will ultimately kill cruelty at its root, I still am thankful to be reminded that some people consider meanness to be the true tyranny that it is-- and rage against it.
ReplyDeleteAnd for whomever was on the receiving end of comfort: I'm thankful you have that softness within you as well.
Effective writing; this is a great, succinct illustration of a complex character. Nice job taking advantage of dialogue to provide indirect characterization.
You are a great girl Madison. I appreciate you.
15/15
This is amazing, Madison! I can always see these exact characteristics whenever I am around you. I love how you are strong willed and independent. No one can ever knock you down. With being as strong willed as you are, you are always ready to help and defend anyone or anything. I love how you always focus on others, and you make sure that if something is not right with them, you are there to fix it. You are passionate, caring, and very smart. Keep it up, girl. You rock!
ReplyDeleteWell, I think you just blew my story out of the water. Um, your indirect characterization was beautiful, and this sounds like an actual short story that a real author actually wrote. Also, I think this truly does describe you because I can actually see this happening and hear it happening. You're such a loyal person Madi. Keep it up! I know you've been working so hard lately with a lot of things and being a good friend is something you've been doing great at. Lovely, lovely characterization Madi! I love you!
ReplyDeleteMadison, since the kindergarten you have been a natural born leader and a comforter. I have seen how well you have taken care of your friends and how you stand up to anything that is not right. I greatly admire this quality about you as well as many others. I absolutely loved the writing and the story. I could tell without a doubt that this was you. Your writing is fun to read because it is definitely not dry. Keep doing you and the world will be a better place! :)
ReplyDelete