Poetry Madness

The Tyger

by William Blake

Photo Journal Walk

So you'll take pictures of this, so that in your blog you can write something really insightful and reflective about what God revealed to you...

Yeah, I was already planning what my big revelation was going to be on my walk as I strolled out the door. Right when I realized what I was doing I mentally slapped myself. I'm always so calculating and controlled, self-reliant and in my own head. Well, that was not the plan for this assignment. The plan was to be honest and exposed, and let the thoughts flow naturally and unbridled.

 Sooo... yeah. Here we go. 

The first thing that hit me is how gloriously blue the sky was. While this pic may seem empty, to me it was perfection: a gorgeous, cloudless, flawless, azure blue spanning the horizon. The cold, crisp air cleared my head. What was I thinking? God is GOOD. I couldn't help but smile at how fortunate I was, just for such an ordinary, mundane occurrence as clear weather. It certainly nudged me into the proper mind-space for the trip, and I was very grateful.

My mind shifts back to the contemplations that had originally stolen my focus. Why did I want to plan this whole journey out? Why am I always like that? I cling to this facade, wanting the stereotypical, Christian answer that I'm sure to see on the other blogs. It'd be a safe answer; I don't want to stand out, I don't want to be exposed like Myers wants on the internet for my classmates to see. Not as I am right now, anyways. Every thought that sneaks into my head about my future horrifies me, consumes me, and I despise that uncertainty. Then I keep seeing these signs: NO TRESPASSING. By the time I snap this picture it's literally the third one I've ran into. Normally something I'd ignore, it drew my attention today. There will be these places, so many doors that will be opened to me once I escape from my sheltered parental bubble. Walking right in will be so easy, but as a Christian I have to say no. I am not allowed into those zones, no matter how alluring they are. Today, these signs were for me, warning me to stay out of these dark places once I'm free; and I desperately want to listen. These thoughts grip me.. for most of my walk, actually. I wonder if I'll be strong, if I can make God proud to call me His child. 

Then I start snapping more of the cliches. A little budding flower... blooming into the next phase of its existence. What do you know, it's relateable to me as I am a graduating senior soon to be heading off to my next phase at university. I generally am not fond of such simple, typical metaphors regurgitated for situations such as this, but what can I say? It's where my mind unfortunately went, and that's what you greazy hobos* are gonna get! I don't know, this is all I can seem to consider these days in my spare time. MY FUTURE. I'm drowning in expectations for myself, a desire to make my mark on this planet. However, I need to remember that this is just the first page of my next chapter. I think about how my dad always says, "Whatever Victoria, Madison, and Roque put their minds to, they can accomplish. They are just those sort of people." Of course these could just be the usual musings of a proud, loving, supportive father, but I want to believe them anyways. The problem is, I don't have a drive that pushes me towards any one career or life path. I know, I'm in the same boat as many other students my age, but I just can't stand it. Having nothing to specifically work for is driving me insane! I want peace.. for a few minutes I even begged God for it. Do I feel like I got a response? Not really, no. But then again I never do, so no surprise there. After this walk I'm still just as stressed out and resigned to my fate as ever. Whoopee. 

Okay, yeah, so that was about the extent of the things I thought about. I'm not really sure I accomplished anything in particular on this walk, it mostly just provided an opportunity for me to machinate on the things that already consume me on a daily basis. I hate that this sounds so dull and pessimistic, but I didn't want to pretend like this was some great, eye-opening experience for me. It did feel really nice to get out and stretch my legs, and I loved inhaling the sharp, icy air; that was wonderful. Anyway, here are a couple other pictures I took that tickled my fancy. Enjoy~

A snap of the mural I used to judge (yes, I judged a wall), but
have now come to love and anticipate seeing every time
I go by. It's funny how stuff can grow on you like that. 

Leave it to Burien to have litter consisting
of bejeweled alcohol. Beautiful.. I laughed, anyways. 

I just love that contrast. God is such an
artist, it just blows my mind. 

The sun was just heavenly, and who doesn't appreciate
a good nature scene? I just adore rays of sunlight like this,
flaring through the greenery. You can't help but
contemplate God's majesty. 

I just thought this was really great. I can just picture some ill-meaning person defiling the freshly laid
concrete with their initials. I also love the shoe prints, imagining the startled person who ruined their
favorite pair as they wandered through here thinking the concrete was dry. These are real, human moments.
Real people with real lives. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the fact that there are 7 billion other people on this planet with 7 billion different lives being experienced. My tiny perspective is so narrow.  Mind blown. 

And that is all! Happy Monday everyone! 

*greazy hobo is a term of endearment in the Madicabulary, so if you were offended by such utterances, clearly you are not my friend xP Have a nice day. 

        

What I Am Thankful For

I am thankful for the originality and creative uniqueness of everyone in my AP Lit class.
Each one has  their own perspective to share and bring to the group 

                      I am thankful for cousins who will let me invade their personal space on a very regular basis.

I am thankful for wonderful and hilarious friends that I can do literally anything with
and still have more fun than I've ever had before.  

I am thankful for two wonderful siblings that are both so different, and add so much enjoyment to my life.
I am so happy that I get to share moments like these with them. 

I am also thankful for coordinated sibling frowning.

I am thankful for my parents that would do anything for me, and somehow
 put up with my nonsense on a daily basis.  

I am thankful for random Asian babies that actually want me to hold them.
They really are the cutest of the baby species. 

I am thankful for delicious  Christmas tree cookies that represent a family tradition
following a  successful Christmas tree hunt. 

I am thankful for stuffed animals that have "accurate anatomical design".
Come on, you can't help but smile.

I am thankful for friends that serenade me with their
glorious guitar strumming and beautiful voice. 

I am thankful for my loving cat who sits in the oddest of places
and uses me for warmth. 

I am thankful for raising my voice in song and worship along with my fellow
believers at church. It is my favorite part of every service. 

I am thankful for the deer that left this adorable pile of turds in the grass,
and I am thankful that I am weird enough that I can actually appreciate a pile of excrement.
I wish humans had poop this cute. 

Finally, I am thankful for every little light and pine needle that eventually come together
to form the most magnificent of Christmas trees. 

Shakespearean Sonnet

Siblings

Two knights approach, with lance in hand on steed,

Intent to strike, disarm their foe for fee.

Display away, they're not supposed to bleed,

It's all for fun; such is my bro and me.

A quite complex connection that we share,

The days of laughter, joy and play abound,

A loving jibe, a joking taunt, with care

Is said before we wrestle on the ground.

Then one wrong word, and kinship disappears.

Though fists will stop, the tongue will be the sword.

It escalates, and wrath becomes sad tears,

How quick the jump from fondness to discord!

      But in the end, he's still my friend and bro.

      Him I'd defend, with claws exten'd, fo' sho'. 

The Chorus of Antigone: Do these old dudes know what's up?

              Oh great Creon, what a battle it has been that I, the Chorus, have witnessed today. The traitor Polynices rose against our city, but was struck down by his own brother’s sword. And now, “You have given your judgment for the friend and for the enemy. As for those that are dead, so for us who remain, your will is law” (132). You are right to condemn Antigone. She buried Polynices despite your edict to the contrary, and defying you in such a way is unacceptable. I am entirely devoted to my lord, for you are king indeed, and what you say is the law of the land. You merely seek to protect our fair Thebes as you see fit, and if you desire for such rebellion to be punished, I respect your authority. Poor Antigone had no right. That girl “shows her father’s stubborn spirit: foolish not to give way when everything’s against her” (139). My lord, to this disobedience you cannot turn a blind eye.

                Oh, but what is this? Now thy son Haemon appears, declaring that the people of Thebes pity Antigone. They consider it most unjust for her to die for such an honourable action as providing her brother with a proper burial, just as the gods have declared it. Now I am conflicted, for “There is something to be said, my lord, for his point of view and for yours as well; there is much to be said on both sides” (145). Oh supreme gods of Olympus, I do hold thy timeless will in high regard. Indeed, “For what presumption of man can match thy power, O Zeus, that art not subject to sleep or time or age” (142). Who are we, as mere human beings, to contradict a tradition from authority such as that? Though I have such great admiration for our dear king, can I really condone punishing young Antigone for simply doing what she considered honourable and just? I look at her, and it “is a sight beyond all bearing, at which my eyes cannot but weep” (148). Oh Creon, perhaps the words of Haemon should not be ignored. The law of the eternal god’s is higher than your law, is it not? Surely resisting the gods is a foolish act to commit, and is not beyond repercussions.

                Truly, now the prophecy of Teiresius has confirmed our thinking. He has spoken, and our lord is to be punished for his pride with the deaths of his beloved wife and son. At this time, “If you would be advised, my good lord Creon... Release the woman from her rocky prison. Set up a tomb for him that lies unburied” (155). We were wrong to think anything profitable would come from ignoring the gods. Far greater is their wisdom, surpassing anything that we could ever know. I am so sorry, dear Creon, but “Alas, too late you have seen the truth” (160). I believe now a great lesson has been learned by all because of the pride of our lord, and what a tragedy it has been.  

I Am a Complex Character

“Madi, it’s okay, really. I think tha-”

“But it’s not okay.” She cut me off, glaring at the wall like a ravenous cat that had just missed its last kill. “They had no right to treat you like that.”

I looked at her face and her eyes flickered to mine. Her jaw was set in her slight, involuntary underbite. I could see little tears welling up and catch in her lashes, obstinately refusing to take the final plunge onto her cheek.

I sighed and glanced down at my hand. Madison had it cradled in her lap, absentmindedly running her fingers up and down my forearm. Even with her muscles tensed, she kept her fingers soft and light against my skin, making my nerve endings sing with contentment.   

“Well, what are we going to do about it?” she demanded.

“There’s nothing that we can do at this point. Please, don’t worry about it. It’s all over and done with.”

Her expression almost exploded. She jumped out of her seat and slammed her fist down on the table. It could have been almost comical if she wasn’t so impassioned and angry. “There has to be something we can do! No one is allowed to be that derogatory and rude to my friends. Ever.” She jerked her head toward the door and seemed about ready to rush out to kick some butt.   

“Madi...” my quiet voice pleaded. She snapped back into reality. I relaxed as she forced herself to sit back down next to me. Her eyebrows furrowed, but she resumed stroking my arm, which seemed to help calm her down.

“I- I just can’t stand to see you upset, that’s all.” Her tone was thoughtful, loving, as if I was her entire world and the only person that mattered. It felt really nice.

We just sat there for a while like that, in total silence. Nothing needed to be said; her company was sufficient. I knew she had a million other places to be and had so much on her mind —that thing never turned off—but she chose to stay and comfort me anyways. I smiled and leaned against her shoulder, and as always, she shifted herself to accommodate. 

College Personal Statement

Today, this little number is putting the ROUGH in “rough draft.” Please enjoy.  

Also, I think I tooted my own horn waaaay too hard; please forgive my apparent arrogance. But how does one brag with subtlety and finesse? Somebody teach me!

...................................................

           The tortilla glared menacingly at me like a blistering eye. My hands froze as my gaze shifted anxiously to my partner, silently imploring him for help. He gets the message. I shrank helplessly to the side, watching his confident fingers rescue my drowning dish. Tortilla. Cheese. Chicken. He fluidly combines the ingredients together, finally folding it over to reveal a perfect, golden quesadilla, ready to serve to the expectant customer. Defeated, I remain in my isolated corner of the kitchen, praying for the end of a lunch rush that could not come soon enough. It was the summer before my junior year, and the Culinary Arts class I had enrolled in was proving more challenging than I had anticipated.  

            This failure came as an abrupt slap to the face. In most academic and extracurricular pursuits I can hold my own. Over the years, with Honors and AP courses, track and field, my art, seven years of piano, basketball, theatre, I feel relaxed and confident. Responsibility and work ethic define me. Whether I like it or not, I always tend to gravitate towards a leadership role in any group project. Why? Because people trust me to get the job done, and get it done well.

            Indeed, success and I were old pals. Yet here I was, bested by a bit of melted dairy and dough. I felt so inadequate, so useless, so far outside my comfort zone. It was going to be an arduous four weeks, to say the least.

            Thankfully, I had friends and teachers who encouraged me not to give up. We would be running the restaurant for another two weeks, with plenty of opportunities to seek instruction and improvement. The circumstances pushed me to perform unfamiliar tasks and work with new people; everyday was its own unique challenge to overcome.

            It all came down to one moment. It was the day I was assigned to beef stir fry with three other girls. The restaurant was particularly packed, and of course our dish was the favorite meal. The first few orders began rolling in.

            The kitchen was chaos. All around us people were busily preparing their own food, rushing about; the metallic clanging of pans against stoves echoed noisily through the confusion. We were not moving fast enough. Disorganized and overwhelmed, we were backed up with orders. Chef kept yelling at us to pick up the pace, and I couldn’t take it any longer.

             I turned to our girl who was working the stove. “Can you handle cooking with two pans at once?” Without a word, she shook her head. I saw my own fearful panic reflected in her eyes, wide as saucers. But then something came over me. It was almost instinct; a sense of authority and perfect clarity settled around me. I became hyper focused as everything that needed to be accomplished for the dish flashed through my mind.

            “Okay, I’ll do it.” I was a force of nature. I grabbed the pans and rapidly assigned each girl a roll. All other distractions faded to oblivion. My partners did as I asked, tentative hands and uncertainty yielding to a growing confidence. Like a well-oiled machine we produced gorgeous displays of intoxicating food. The kitchen was my domain, and I had never felt so alive. It truly was a glorious feeling of warmth and satisfaction.

            That Culinary Arts class was truly a milestone in my mental development. I learned that a fear of failure cannot champion me. The class taught me that I can flourish even while working in high-pressure and unfamiliar situations. Furthermore, I used to not always be the most social. However, being forced to work with total strangers shattered my boundaries and opened me up to such interaction that I have come to enjoy and love. It has radically enhanced my academic experience, affording me new friends across secondary that got to know me on a more personal level. Indeed, they eventually trusted me enough to overwhelmingly vote me into office as Treasurer for the Associated Student Body, a position with great monetary responsibility. As my high school career draws to a bittersweet close, I know now that I am ready to take on any challenge life throws my way. I can only believe that God has great things planned for my future, and I wait with eager anticipation to see where His path will take me.